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Not whenever I believed, if I did not see it myself.
When I was 19 years old, I ran into my father in a London department store.
We hadn't spoken in years, but when I heard that laugh, I knew exactly who it was.
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In search of a father figure, I sought out unavailable men. I had entertained a crush on a heretofore unattainable man for 10 years when he wrote me out of the blue one day to see if I was interested.
Suddenly all the latent Harlequin romance of my heart lit up like a pinball machine. At the time, I was living in Los Angeles; he was living in Maine.
As a teen, I transferred those feelings of inadequacy to my relationships with guys.
I'd dump boyfriends quickly, scared that if I didn't, they'd beat me to it.